The dark days are mostly behind us..

Hello dear family and friends

I missed posting last week because it was a zoo at work but today is a grey day and its causing the street to be quiet. 

There's our boy all snug as a bug in his little bed in the NICU. 

Having a baby in general is an incredible journey and many mothers feel a surge of emotions a few days after the baby is born (it usually coincides with milk coming in) and not all of those emotions feel good. I feel that it is so important to spread awareness as a doula and a mother that having a baby is an exciting time but its okay if it also feels bad. 

After Huxley was born I was in shock and a constant state of fight or flight. Everyday that I sat with him in NICU I tried to 'pull up my socks' and be the bravest I could be. Hux was about four months old when I felt like I just couldn't be brave anymore. I needed help. I was so fortunate to be referred to an amazing clinical counselor  named Traci McGee. Here's a blurb from her website: 

Typically, mothers access the Post Partum Support Program by a referral from a public health nurse, physician, midwife, social worker or an agency that is part of the Greater Victoria health community. The Post Partum Support Program is sponsored by the Vancouver Island Health Authority (Island Health).

It is an amazing free service available for mamas in need in the Greater Victoria area. 

The two things in these sessions that I felt helped the most: 

1) It is okay to feel the way I was feeling. It is odd but sometimes as humans we just need permission to feel vulnerable and afraid. 

2) I needed to find my tribe. (My words not hers haha). I was a part of several new baby groups but unless you have a child with special needs you can't fully understand what its like. I needed to find people like me that had children like Huxley! I don't know why I didn't think about it myself but that simple suggestion from Traci guided me to the biggest support we have. 

HOPE FOR HIE

The link above is the foundations page but the Facebook forum which has a 1000+ members that all have children like Huxley has been an incredible resource and place of refuge. The moment I joined the group and started reading the posts I felt a big wave of relief wash over me. The children described were Huxley. Finally I wasn't alone anymore. 

We are SO lucky to be living in this age of social media. I cannot imagine how trying it would have been to have Huxley in the years before the internet and social media. 

Whatever your struggle is, I'm certain there is a group out there waiting to meet you. It is okay to be vulnerable and it is okay to seek help.  

Our days are filled with love, hope, and so many hugs. Sometimes the darkness creeps back up but one smile from our beautiful boy and it all melts away. 

That's all for now folks, so much love.